Storage Predictions for 2009

It's the end of another year and of course time to the obligatory posts on predictions in the industry for the next 12 months. True to form, I've spent some time thinking and here are my top 5 ruminations for the coming year.

• EMC join SPC. EMC will finally have the epiphany we've all been dreaming of and embrace the world of generalised benchmarking. DMX will prove to be underpowered (due to the lack of SATA drives and the discovery that SSD is in fact the slowest disk technology) and be outperformed by Tony Asaro and his new Drobo appliance.
• HDS Win At Web Awards. HDS embrace new media in a game changing way and Hu wins first prize at the Weblog Awards. Barry Burke is so impressed, he defects to HDS from EMC, becoming www.thestoragedefeatist.com.
• XIV Conquers the World. IBM releases XIV-1000, by sending Moshe Yanai back in time from 2032, the time when Atmos became self-aware and took over storage for the entire world. EMC counter, sending StorageZilla (now aged 32) back to defeat Moshe in a monumental battle pitting SATA against SSD.
• JWT joins Star Trek. Jon Toigo bows out of storage to follow a career in acting. His first role as the father of Willam Riker in Star Trek XI is critically acclaimed as a work of genius.
• Convoy II: SWCSA is Released. The life of Marc Farley is brought to the big screen as he attempts to outwit the authorities and drive from the west to east coast using nothing but his blogging skills. Farley is portrayed on screen by Kris Kristofferson, reprising his role from the original cult movie.

Check back next year to see how many of these predictions did in fact come true.